Anniversary

It seems weird that a year ago this month I started my first day at my "grown up job" as I like to call it. 1 year ago I was sitting in orientation feeling terrified, excited, nervous, & in awe that I had achieved my life long dream of becoming a nurse. When I was in nursing school it seemed like the day of being a real life RN [registered nurse or 'real nurse' as I like to tell people] would never come. The last semester of school was torture and then it ended...just like that. I walked across the stage got my diploma and I was finished. I officially had my degree in nursing. After that came time to take the dreaded NCLEX. The terrifying exam that nursing school had attempted to prepare us for. That day came and went just like any other...okay maybe there were a few more tears and maybe a panic attack on that day but I took the exam and it was finished. Then I found out I passed it a few days later. At this point I had accepted a job on a cardiac floor with the stipulation of passing the NCLEX. Check. I was officially employed.

One year ago this month my entire life changed. I never thought I could love nursing more than I did when I was in school. I also never thought I would love cardiac like I do. In one year I have seen more naked people than I can count, I get more excited about my patients pooping or peeing than I do about a lot of things, I learned that I will touch anything as long as I have gloves on, I have seen people have heart attacks, I have helped save peoples lives, I have cried out of joy, sadness, and anger, I have watched people die, and I have watched people die and then come back. I have learned an incredible amount about myself, about other people, and how the body works and what kinds of things need to be done to keep it going. I work with some of the most amazing people who have been so willing, kind and patient with me while I have been working there. I couldn't have asked for a better place to work starting out my career as a nurse. I can honestly say that 98% of the time I am excited to go to work.

If I could give any new nurses advice it would be this. Don't ever forget that your patients are human beings. They are sick and probably really scared so be patient, kind and compassionate to them... even if you have to fake it. You never know what kind of impact you may have on them. It is okay to cry. No one told me this in school... or maybe they did and I didn't pay any attention. The first few times at work when I was on the verge of tears I held it in so people wouldn't think I was weak or that I was a baby. So eventually after I couldn't hold it in any longer I sat in my bath tub and binged on candy bars [okay you may laugh at that but it helped at the time but not a good way to deal with emotions...hello diabetes]. Seriously though... go in the med room, supply room  where ever you can be alone and let it out, eat some chocolate, then get over it. It is okay to feel emotion. We are only human. It will always be sad when someone dies. You will feel an overwhelming amount of joy when a patient and there family tells you how much you helped them and what a good nurse you are... It's okay to cry then too [happy tears of course]. This is all normal so don't feel dumb when you need a good cry. Take time for yourself while you are at work. Don't ever let yourself get so busy that you forget to take a moment to breathe... or pee. There have been more days than not when I have gone almost an entire shift with out peeing or not being able to sit down for more than 10 minutes. You have to advocate for yourself and make sure you allow yourself to breathe for a minute. If not.... you will find yourself binging on candy bars in a bubble bath...then people think your crazy. Always follow your gut. If you have a funny feeling about something chances are you are probably right. Talk out whatever feeling you are having and look into it. More often than not my gut instinct was right and I was too nervous and unsure of myself to speak up sooner. The good days outweigh the bad ones. There will be bad ones. I can promise you that. I have had my far share of days where I come home mad or crying for whatever reason. But there are a million more good days to every bad day...and the good days help you forget the bad ones. When patients you have taken care of in the past to come back to thank you it makes the bad days worth it.... I promise.

The past year has been a whirlwind and I am grateful for every crazy minute of it. And thank you to everyone that has helped me get here!